Relationships

I expect this page will gain me no friends and piss a lot of people off but just take it for what it is. This is not the way I see things, I think this is just the way shit is. What I am trying to say is, please understand this is the way things are going these days as perceived by me via personal experiences as well as many friends. Please do not assume this is all from my twisted life, it is not.

My Two Cents

Everything has changed. It seemed when I grew up that it was so simple.

• Get a Job.
• Get a girl.
• Get a house.
• Marry girl (hopefully she is not a woman, and your a man.
• Have some Kids (if you lucky).
• Grow old.
• Die happy people.

Somewhere along the way, everything changed. Maybe the Cro-Magnon man of the past, controlling the food and family, was able to run the show and make it all happen, with little objection from his wife or peers. This way worked, it even was part of the American Dream and it got it where we are today day but man is it outdated.

Starting to get into it

First of all, Maybe I am a freak (actually, I am a freak) but I am most attracted to a woman who has drive, ambition, the mind to do something with herself. The thought of me having an at home wife raising kids seems to wrong and foreign to me that I am scared in most cases to even start. Personally, I think that women in the work place changed everything and is the primary reason marriage is a failing idea. I say this with excitement. This is something I am happy with but with it comes a larger issue hang to do with Life(link). In the past, I think Men were more comfortable and women much less when the family was carried by the male (Monetary). This dynamic is such an old idea that it must be changed, I believe it has.

The Major Change

Women are no longer afraid of being alone, not having someone to take care of them. These days girls go out and do it themselves. Make money, Own houses, have kids. All on their own. Where does the male fit into this model? Love? Jesus, stop dreaming. I see our culture going down the road of the Amazon women. Men are no longer in a position to threat, to force, to make things happen the way they want. Men are now becoming high sought for things that seemed so strange in the past. If we were balanced in the past between man and women then we are very skewed toward the female but I do not think this was the case. I think we were skewed in the past and we are now coming to an even keel. This may or may not work long term. I think life will go on but the idea of a relationship will no longer be the same.

Where I see an issue is the large advantage (and disadvantage) women have in their ability to reproduce. I will cover these more in the my Kiddos (link) area of this blurb.

Elvis has now left the building

The man of the past, Strong, powerful, driven, greedy and competitive will have to change into something more progressive, more dealing, more sharing, less self consumed. We can see this shift today and how badly it is going. Men are messes. They think they are perfect, they blame the girl when really it is them. Women are already progressing. they are running the world, doing all the same jobs men have in the past and do today. Men need to progress in their minds, be more sharing, open, clear and communicative. This will take centuries but I see this happening today. THe only way this progression will not occur will be if we have a major catastrophe that forces us to go back to our hunter gather root at which point, we will return to the Big strong dude, protection the little, lovely perfect woman. This has it advantages but until that meteor strikes or poles shift, we boys need to open our eyes.

There are a few other things that I see happening out there that play a hand in our changing dynamic. Socially we have changed. Women, like men, are out in the workplace, not at home raising the kids. Because of this there are more chances of meeting people. People that might be a better match for you or her. This has been the case for men for a long while but it is new to women. What I see today is that people are not so fast to jump into relationships. They wait and wait and wait. The Grass is greener complex (something I suffer from endlessly). They wait because they are looking for the perfect match, unrelentlessly comparing traits, behaviors among their plethora of options. This was of life is fast moving and never predictable but it has a flaw. When you do it to long you cannot learn how to be with one. You become stuck, unable to be faithful, unable to be content. You will die alone, with a lot of friends not at your bedside.

It is not about looks and not random

People meet by association. This is a historically proven fact, do not deny it. When people are out and about, they will fall down and fuck by accident. I have seen it so many times it is scary. After the third time, you decide that fate will always play its part, so don't get pissed. Just suck it up and understand that it is probably the best thing that could have happened and remember, maybe you have been at the other end of the stick. If not, then understand that you will be one day and to go easy.

Sport Fucking

Sport fucking compared to loving the shit out of someone. THere are very different things and you should understand them. They are different, they are dangerous and they are almost always perceived incorrectly from the positions of those involved. When this happens the best thing you can do is take a step back, put space and time between you two and see how it goes. YOu got a lot of calls, texts, e-mails looking for you then you know you were sport fucking someone who is in love with you. If your the one doing the stalking then you need to read this and do the same thing, take a break, a step back, look how you were being treated. I assure you that you will no longer want to do it (unless your cheating on someone with the guy or girl your fucking that you love). If your the one thinking this is all fun and games and the other person is on the same page but they are starting to get a little serious on you, you better run for the hills. Don't try to talk it out. Stop all communication and move on, ohh and hope what you just did to someone never gets done to you because it sucks and it fucking hurts but man is it exciting. Incomparable in so many ways.

The selfish lack of consideration

Don't drag someone around behind you. If your not ready in your own mind. To many times you see people in relationships that drag on for far to long. This would in most cases be due to one of the parties being on the fence (there is always one in the relationship that is on the fence). Usually this is due to the. "so much time invested." clause. In other cases this is the typical fear of being along issue. Men and women don't like to be alone. When they are in a relationship that they should not be in they are to afraid to change, so they act like all is well. All is not well and usually both parties know it but are to sissy to make something happen about it. In my mind, this is one of the parties involved being selfish. People know when something is going to work or not and people don't change unless they want to (usually they don't), so if your in on of these relationships, understand that it is 90% inevitable that will not end well. If your the selfish prick drawing out this thing because your scared then grow the fuck up. Be a good person, break it off. Let the person on the other end of the stick move on, give them a chance to find what is right for them. This selfishness will only ruin your friendship which if you lucky enough, you can salvage with time. Take a step back, look at the situation. Think about how your treated. Don't stand for this shit if your getting it and if you giving it, wake up and think about someone other then yourself.

Cheating with the Cheater

Sleeping with someone who is in a relationship is fun. There are a free things you should understand. To start, you will later find that part of your attraction to one another is or was the fact that what your doing is considered morally wrong. The Sneaking around, the making plans, keeping your communications on the downlow, not being seen in public, being forced to do things in dark places. This is all amazing while it lasts but it almost never does. This all brings you right back to highschool, running around with the cute girl, kissing under the bleachers. Wasn't it amazing? Well, when all is said and done, it will usually fall apart.

Maybe you get caught, the person doing he cheating breaks it off with the poor broken ex. You start dating, Go out in public, fuck all the time, laugh a lot. Then time sets in and you start to realize that the only thing you had in common was trust. Trust that you would not blow the deal away, Trust that you will be there. But will you really?

Or you stop the whole thing and your left with the, "One that got away," syndrome. Maybe the person decided it was wrong what they were doing.

Drama is the only thing that keeps it all going

Sleeping with someone while your in a relationship.

Don't bullshit people if your not ready for it

Don't get into something you do not intend to follow through with.

Shit or get off the pot

Shit or get off the pot.

Had the right one but lost them (or let them go)

Comparing to one, all the time.

Physical attraction is for the weak

Physical Attraction (sexiness).

Uncontrollable attraction

Lack of control. Selfish.

Waking up and trying to figure out how to fix what you just did

Alcohol related opps fucking.

My Recap

I always dreamed of having a relationship like the one I saw all growing up. I was lucky to have parents that accidentally fell in love. THey did not decide they were going to get married and have a fame. They did it by accident. Today, relationships leave nothing to chance. They are driven by physical attractiveness and are destined to fail because of it. They are sought after by people working to hard at life with little to no time for sharing that want to have their cake and eat it to. By people that decided that they deserve a child. They think it is their right even. Because of this they say one day, I need a husband or wife. I am getting old and time is ticking. I better make something happen. In comes e-harmony, match.com, Facebook. No better place to stalk your next ex-fuck buddy.

WORK ON THIS!!!! it is fucked up and needs to be worked out.n There are so many things to talk about when we go down this road, and tempers can flare but I will try and hit a few little spots.

1: Men are competitive idiots that have far to much to prove. 2: Women are powerful thinkers. THis they can use in good and bad ways. 3: The Grass is always greener complex. 4: